Oct 18, 2011

Waiting.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14

So I have a confession to make. I hadn't called our fertility doctor back since the last IUI in July. As you read before, I was just not feeling it. But I finally decided a couple weeks ago I would try again and call him on Day One. Well, we were in Galveston this weekend after two days in Houston at MD Anderson getting Roger's latest MRI and labs. By the way, we got good news. Roger's scans showed no new tumor growth and his neuro-oncologist decided Roger should wait another three months to do radiation. We were about to embark on the Colonel Paddlewheel cruise at Moody Gardens when a trip to the bathroom revealed I had started. So I told Roger I would call Dr. K on Monday morning to let him know Saturday was my Day One. I also told Roger that Dr. K always asks me to take a home pregnancy test to make sure I am not pregnant before I start any fertility drugs so I would take one first thing when I woke up so I could tell him on the phone I already took one and it was negative and we would not have to wait to start the process. Just a side note, after that initial revelation I had started, there was nothing else the rest of the weekend. Since my cycles are so light I didn't think much of it.

I put the home pregnancy test out on the counter in our bathroom so I would remember in the morning when I woke up. I forget lots of stuff overnight during my sleep and I knew I would need some kind of reminder. I took the test first thing and watched as the lines started appearing. I was completely expecting it to be negative like all the other tests I have taken before but there is always that little hope in the back of my mind that by chance it might actually be positive. Of course I always play it off like I know it's going to be negative and when it is I respond like, "Yep, negative. Just like I thought it would be." I watched the lines and when it seemed like a faint plus was appearing I actually thought to myself, "Okay Holly, are you seeing things that aren't really there. Don't let your mind think you see something that isn't real." I placed it on the counter to wait for the rest of the two minutes you are supposed to wait. And I still thought I could see a plus forming. Roger got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. I turned to look at him and pointed at the test sitting on the counter and said to him, "Do you see what I think I'm seeing?" To which he responded in the affirmative.

I have never seen any thing other than very clear negative results on home pregnancy tests so I had no idea what a positive test result would actually look like. I still wasn't sure if this was positive. Every time I walked into the bathroom I looked at the test on the counter and doubted what I was seeing. I just had no idea if what I was seeing was good enough. And every time I looked at it, the lines seemed to get fainter and fainter. I even did a Google image search for home pregnancy test results to see if anyone out there in the world wide web had posted pictures of their positive test results so I could compare. I found one image of the same type of home test I took and their results looked similar to mine. This gave me some more reassurance it could be real.

Roger and I talked about what to do next. I knew I had to call my doctor regardless but decided to consult with a dear friend first. I took a picture with my phone and texted it to her. Not even 30 seconds later my phone rang. She said even with her crappy little phone it looked positive to her and I needed to call my doctor. Dr. K told me in the past that when I do get a positive test whether it's from natural conception or IUI he would order blood work every other day for about a week to make sure all the numbers were replicating correctly to make sure it was not a tubal pregnancy or anything else before he released me back to my OB/midwife. So I called Dr. K's office and they ordered a blood test and told me to go in to the lab next door any time during the day and I would have results by the end of the day.

So I made it to the lab about 11:30am Monday morning and STAT was written all over the lab order. I left and ran all my other errands plus went to my physical therapy evaluation for my knee issue. By the time I made it home from the grocery store, it was getting closer to 5:00 pm. And I had still not heard from the doctor's office. I called them right after 5:00 pm and no one answered. My bad for waiting so long but I didn't want to be one of those women that calls every hour to ask if the results are in. So I called this morning after that dear friend called me also annoyed I hadn't gotten a call from them yet. The nurse told me the lab sent the results in so late yesterday that Dr. K was already gone and he would be in this afternoon to review the numbers then they would call me. So we get to wait a little longer before we find out. It is still exciting none the less. Will update as soon as we get a call from the doctor.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
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