Real Love

I just have to tell you that I’m married to the most wonderful husband in the world. Roger & I had a wonderful time at dinner last night. It was just amazing. We strolled around the Warehouse District holding hands after dinner. During dinner he completely surprised me with a beautiful platinum and diamond anniversary band. I was so shocked by it I started to cry. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I had kind of forgotten about it with all that’s been going on lately. And since he didn’t mention anything to me since he’s been home about getting it I figured he hadn’t gotten a chance to think about trying to get it. But all this time he’s been secretly meeting with our friend John the gemologist. He’s so good. I really love being married and especially being married to Roger. Check out some pictures below.

Today is our fifth anniversary. So far this morning we’ve laid in bed holding each other and talking. It’s been a really special morning. Now we're off to have some breakfast. I can’t wait for the rest of the day. We’re going to dance the night away tonight at a benefit concert by my favorite local country musician Jason Allen.

I wrote the following in my electronic journal a while back, but thought today was a good day to share it, “I found real love at the same time I was starting to know God’s love. After many years of crazy relationships, I always knew they weren’t real love but didn’t really know what real love was. I knew what it wasn’t. You can’t have that many doubts about a person or your relationship with them, to not know what real love isn’t. But I think because I found real love as I was beginning to understand how God loved me, is how I knew it was real love. They were almost the same, sacrificial. God would do anything to show me and make me feel how much he loved me, as Roger and I would do for each other. And there were no doubts. It was like God put in my heart the knowledge and wisdom that it was the real thing. I can’t explain how I knew it, other than God told me Roger was the man he intended for me to marry.”

Learning To Be Married Again

So why would we have to learn to be married again? Roger and I were separated for the last nine months. While we were separated we could be and were very selfish. In marriage you have to be selfless. We are relearning to put the other first. Not an easy thing to do when you are human! Only the Lord can help with that. The other skill we are relearning is how to communicate. I know some people will think, “Well, you talk to each other so you are communicating.” Wrong. Communicating is not talking at someone else. Communicating is being honest about how you feel and telling the other person in a respectful way. You have to share things you wouldn’t normally share outside of a relationship. You also have to listen. My biggest advice to newlyweds has been and will always be: You can’t read their mind, so don’t expect them to read yours. Tell them exactly what you want them to know. How do you expect a man to know you need him to help with the dishes or laundry if you don’t tell him? We keep forgetting to share all the details of our plans or expectations. And both of us need to know. Two have become one. You have to enlist patience for both of these, selflessness and communication. Another request only the Lord can help with.

It’s kind of funny that the topic of learning to be married again has come up so close to our five year anniversary tomorrow. (I finally get to wear my little black dress tonight.) We’d like to think we have it down by now, but marriage isn’t constant. Thank goodness. Nothing worse than a stale marriage. We haven’t had a chance to be stale in the past five years. I don’t think stale is in our vocabulary.

One Day And A Wake-Up

As Roger and I talked tonight we both realized in one day and a wake-up I'll be in DC to help Roger come home. It seems kind of weird, I'm sitting here after cleaning the house and getting as much done before Roger comes home most of the weekend, that in one week he will be home forever. What's weird is having the thought, "he's going to be home for good in a week." Outside of the military, I don't think many people think that thought about a loved one ever. One of my biggest fears during this last year, and the first year Roger was deployed, was that I was going to get used to him being gone. That's something I did not want to happen. I didn't want to be one of those wives who would rather their husbands be gone all the time. That's not a marriage. I love being married and especially being married to my best friend. We have a great relationship and I just want it to be back to normal and continue to grow stronger and deeper. And start having fun again. Speaking of funny and normal, a few people have said this past week with the latest news we'll be able to get back to normal. The first time I heard that, I wondered jokingly at first, "what's normal?" Then I started to realize it was a real question not just a passing joke. Roger and I are going to have to get used to being around each other again, especially since he won't go back to work until the end of May and I work from home three days a week. It's probably going to be interesting at times. I am already anticipating the forty questions a day about where things are. Pray for patience for me. :) But I also know we're going to enjoy and cherish the time together. We'll eventually get back to "normal" but I don't think our lives, and our love, will ever be the same. Hopefully, we never forget to cherish our time.