So why would we have to learn to be married again? Roger and I were separated for the last nine months. While we were separated we could be and were very selfish. In marriage you have to be selfless. We are relearning to put the other first. Not an easy thing to do when you are human! Only the Lord can help with that. The other skill we are relearning is how to communicate. I know some people will think, “Well, you talk to each other so you are communicating.” Wrong. Communicating is not talking at someone else. Communicating is being honest about how you feel and telling the other person in a respectful way. You have to share things you wouldn’t normally share outside of a relationship. You also have to listen. My biggest advice to newlyweds has been and will always be: You can’t read their mind, so don’t expect them to read yours. Tell them exactly what you want them to know. How do you expect a man to know you need him to help with the dishes or laundry if you don’t tell him? We keep forgetting to share all the details of our plans or expectations. And both of us need to know. Two have become one. You have to enlist patience for both of these, selflessness and communication. Another request only the Lord can help with.
It’s kind of funny that the topic of learning to be married again has come up so close to our five year anniversary tomorrow. (I finally get to wear my little black dress tonight.) We’d like to think we have it down by now, but marriage isn’t constant. Thank goodness. Nothing worse than a stale marriage. We haven’t had a chance to be stale in the past five years. I don’t think stale is in our vocabulary.