Jan 25, 2011

Trust, Part Two

Yesterday as I drove to an appointment with my holistic chiropractor the local Christian radio station was having a discussion on people's word of the year in between songs. People were calling in and stating what their word for this year was and describing why it was their word for this year. I thought about it as I drove and said to myself, "My word for this year is definitely trust." And prayed for God to continue to help me stop worrying and trust him completely.

Dr. Klayman's office was closed on Friday because he was in Houston for a conference through Saturday. So when I arrived I asked him how his conference was, he stopped what he was doing, paused for a moment, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Profound." That was intriguing enough for me to ask, "What was your conference about?" He began to give some back story and told me the conference was about enlightenment. He said our purpose in this life was oneness with God and the conference facilitated enlightenment by taking the "I" out of the attender because we could not achieve oneness with God and be aware of him in everything with "I" in the way. He said without "I" you could take away all the distractions from seeing God in everything because we would not care about the the distractions, we would not worry. He then said, "When we worry, we are not trusting God." I thought to myself, "What? Seriously? Okay God, I hear you." I love when God surprises me and uses people to teach me. Isn't that cool?

So for those of you who know I was doing a two week program with Dr. Klayman to re-establish my sugar control mechanism, you will be happy to hear all my adjustments held (even though I cheated in the end) and I'm done with the no sugar, no carbs, no caffeine and no alcohol program. Don't worry, I told Dr. Klayman about cheating and he said my adjustments must have already been holding even though I cheated earlier than I was supposed to. So now I should be able to slowly add those foods back into my diet and they won't give me those spikes of exhaustion during the day like they used to. And I have to say, all weekend after I started cheating, I never felt tired... even with less sleep than usual since I was having a girls weekend for my sister's birthday which led to the cheating. But after three weeks (Yes, I had to start over after the 1st week) of reading labels, researching ingredients, etc, there will be a lot of things I will not add back into my life. I even switched to a sugar free toothpaste and mouth rinse. But enough of about that. If you have questions about it, email me directly.

So Monday afternoon Roger and I drove to Houston for his bi-monthly check-up at MD Anderson Cancer Center. On the three hour drive there I made a ton of calls to doctors, the online pharmacy and our insurance company to find out about the prescription prior-authorization we were waiting for. Turns out Tricare did deny it and I called them to find out why. A technician told me it was denied because it would cost them over $9K dollars and I should ask my fertility doctor if there was a cheaper alternative because there was no generic equivalent. So I called Dr. K's office to let them know this and they said he would call me back in a few minutes. They did call me back and he said he would prefer to do the laproscopy first then I could use the shots another patient donated to the office. She had a laproscopy, got pregnant right after and didn't need the shots. So he would set those aside for me. I agreed and felt a lot of peace about this for some reason even though surgery is not something I was looking forward to. Roger and I discussed it after getting off the phone with his office that Dr. K has been talking about doing the laproscopy since we had the HSG procedure and we felt like this might be a major part in conceiving. So that's where we are at now. I have to call them back on day one so they can schedule the procedure between days six through eighteen.

After my last blog post on Trust, I received so many amazing emails, notes, etc from so many people that were truly uplifting, encouraging, funny and perfect timing for how I was feeling and what I was going through. Please know when I type on this blog how much we appreciate all your thoughts, concerns and prayers, we truly mean it. Many of you who read this blog, know exactly what we're going through and how we are feeling now and I love you for taking the time to share with me and lift me up with your words, scripture and love. God uses everything we go through to help others. Thank you so, so much.

~ Holly
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