Surprise Hospitalization and Surgery Postponed

I noticed a few weeks ago that I had a lot of heartburn or acid reflux. On my birthday (2/13/11) we were having dinner at Brea and Eric’s house, which we do every Sunday after bible study. My heartburn was pretty intense that evening and I actually drove home quickly (they live around the corner) to get some chewable Pepto tablets. The tablets seemed to do the trick.

Later on that week we had to drive to MD Anderson in Houston for tests and scans to prepare for my surgery. On Wednesday 3/16 I had a CT where they inject a dye so that the blood vessels can be seen in the scan. In my case, an iodine based dye was used. When they inject iodine dye in someone, the most common side effect of iodine is a warm or "flushed" sensation during the actual injection of the iodine, followed sometimes by a metallic taste in the mouth that usually lasts for less than a minute. This was all true for me except that I also felt a very intense warming around or below the area of my heart. I’ve had a CT before and didn’t remember the feeling being that intense before, but I figured it was no big deal. The CT scan was done to map all the blood vessels in my brain for the surgery.

After the CT scan I had about two hours of cognitive testing where I had to remember words and groups of numbers forward and backward. I also had to think of words that began with specific letters and had to do some logic puzzles. These were all done to provide a baseline for before and after the surgery to see if any capacity was lost.

After the CT we met with the anesthesiologist, a very nice guy. He spent about an hour with us explaining the procedure and walking us through every step. He said that the surgery is planned to be about six hours. The first two hours will be taking me into the BrainSUITE operating room, anesthetizing me and cutting through my skin, skull and the dura, the tissue covering the brain. He said that during the next stage of the surgery I will be woken up and the surgeons will remove the tumor from my brain. Yes, that’s right… I will be fully AWAKE. Not in a haze, not kinda awake/kinda asleep, freaking AWAKE!! He said that they don’t want any drugs to inhibit me in any way. If something gets touched or whatever they want a real time 100% accurate reaction and description from me. WEIRD!!! They will also have the convenience of having an MRI machine in the BrainSUITE so that they can scan me to make sure they got everything before they close me up. When they are sure they are done, they will put me back to sleep, close me up and roll me into recovery. Pretty much all of the staff think I’ll be out of the hospital in 3-5 days. We will see about that.

The next day, Thursday, I had a regular MRI and also an fMRI or functional MRI. During the functional MRI they asked me to think of words that start with a specific letter but I was not to speak them, only think them. Then I would have to open and close either my right or left hand, then I would get another letter, then have to open/close my hand. I think we did this for three letters. We did some other similar tests and that was it. This was to map out in my brain where the area of my thinking during each activity was located. Apparently all the blood rushes to that specific area and they can see it on the computer screen. This will help the surgeons know where certain functions are in my brain during the surgery. They will combine all these scans together into 3D images so that the surgeons can navigate my brain properly and avoid critical areas.

After all of our appointments on Thursday we had lunch and again I felt like I had a bit or heartburn. That feeling stayed with me until I got home and I took some Gas-X before going to bed. I woke up Friday morning 2/18 and commuted to work (about 100 feet from my bed to the office… HA!) for a 9am start. But by 11am the pain in my chest was getting worse and worse. It felt like the pain was under my sternum in the middle of my chest. I told my manager that I needed to stop working and I called our doctor to see if they could get me in but the pain was too much and I asked Holly to call 911. The pain was in my chest and if it was my heart, I didn’t want to mess around. The paramedics and fire truck showed up about 5-10 minutes later and they stuck about 16 sensors on my chest, arms and legs and were able to rule out my heart. At that point the firemen left and the paramedics asked me some more questions. They suggested that with my pain and where it was located that they should take me to the ER, I agreed. Off we went to the hospital. The hospital was able to diagnose me with pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas) within two hours of my arrival. I was told that they would like to admit me and that my treatment would be no drink or food until the doctor deemed I was well enough to go home. They also gave me some IV pain medicine to kill the pain in my chest. And let me tell you, the meds were great! They gave me Dilaudid, which is an awesome pain killer.

What does the pancreas do? The pancreas makes pancreatic juices and hormones, including insulin. The pancreatic juices are enzymes that help digest food in the small intestine. Insulin controls the amount of sugar in the blood. For more detailed info, check out MedicineNet. And I don’t want to bore you with all the details, but if you want to read more about pancreatitis, you can at eMedicine. The usual causes of pancreatitis are gall bladder stones and alcoholism. They ruled out stones with an ultrasound and I definitely do not abuse alcohol. But there is one possible cause: my anti-seizure medication. Before I could start the clinical trial at MD Anderson I was told that I would have to stop taking Tegretol-XR and would have to take Depakote ER instead. Well, if you read the drug label for Depakote at RxList, you’ll see that the third paragraph says Depakote can cause pancreatitis… BINGO! We stopped Depakote Friday night and went back to Tegretol. I ended up spending the whole weekend in the hospital hooked up to only an IV but began to feel better on Monday 2/21 was allowed to have chicken broth for dinner that night and then had cream of wheat for breakfast the following morning. I wasn’t taking much of the pain meds Mon and Tue so I was discharged Tue afternoon.

When I got home on Tue I weighed myself and I had lost seven pounds from not eating. I rested most of Wed and worked a few hours Thu and Fri. I felt fine over the weekend and was back to work today. Unfortunately, MD Anderson called me last week and told me that because of my hospitalization, they were going to have to postpone the surgery and reschedule it for late March. Since they do the surgeries on Thursdays, I think it will be on either March 24 or 31. So, maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I need to get back to 100% and although I feel like I am there now, the doctors are right. Plus, Holly and I lost a whole weekend of being able to do stuff and we have a lot of financial and paperwork to complete before then. Plus, I wanted to get our taxes done. So, we’re fine with that. The past few weeks have been a little nuts for us. Especially with Holly’s surgery, my hospitalization, can it get any crazier?!? Stay tuned to find out.

A Month Off

Well, now that I went back to Dr. K's for a post-op visit today and got all my questions answered I feel informed enough to post about my laparoscopy. Roger tried as hard as he could to take notes and remember everything, but Dr. K snuck up on him after my procedure which didn't give him any time to prepare for taking notes or remember all that he was given including detailed pictures (awesome!) and recovery instructions. Thank goodness they print all the recovery instructions out and give them to you.

But it went as smooth as possible considering they found more in there than they expected. Turns out I had stage one endometriosis. I had no idea I had it at all. But after reading a lot about it over the weekend, you don't really know for sure you have it unless they go in and look and find it. But I am glad it was found, removed and one more thing is out of the way. I am hoping some pain symptoms I had previously will go away maybe even though I don't know for sure if they were caused by the endometriosis. There was endometriosis on my ovaries, bowels and they also found a lot of scar tissue in my uterus. Dr. K said that although it could also be endometriosis since I have never had anything contributing to it in my medical history (pregnancy, abortion, d&c, etc) they can not explain the scaring in my uterus. There was also scarring or something going on in my uterus which "covered" the pathway to the right fallopian tube. The dye injected in went every where it was supposed to go and I'm on my way to try again in the future. But not the too near future. Because they did have to scrape my uterus (and left a uterine balloon stent which he removed today to prevent the uterus healing together) he wants me to give it a good month or two off. So not only "vaginal rest" for two weeks (I know, that's sounds so bizarre but means no bathes or sex) but no cycle at all. So I am on a hormone pill for a month to prevent my cycle starting this month then when I do start my cycle he wants me to have one normal cycle before we try IUI again. Plus Dr. K doesn't want us to worry about getting pregnant while Roger is in Houston for his craniotomy. Dr. K is really nice. It was really sweet of him to remember what Roger is going through and care about both of us and our health and well being.

Having a laparoscopy was pretty much what I expected except the recovery on Thursday. Everyone makes it sound so simple and because it's internal without large incisions there is not as much pain that I really thought I would be walking around or at least sitting around watching TV or reading. But no, there was definitely discomfort which would have made it hard to sleep if not for the vicodin. But other than that, the rest of the recovery has been easy. There are really only two annoying parts so far: the bleeding which requires wearing pads for a few days and not being able to be active at all. Having to be careful, not over due it, over exert, lift anything heavy or do strenuous activity is hard for me. So no hiking, running, weight lifting, crazy yoga/pilates moves, nothing. Not even reaching too far to help hold something to install a new kitchen faucet. Roger is making sure I follow these instructions to the letter. Big sigh.

And we're off to Houston this week for all those tests Roger needs to prepare for the craniotomy. Then we have two weeks off before for we go back for the real deal. We've been doing a lot of paper work getting ready for short term disability and making sure all the paperwork for Army insurance/reimbursement is squared away, getting all our FSA claims in and other financial stuff in order and are now working on our taxes to get everything done before his surgery. We don't want to leave anything undone so we don't have any thing else to worry about while we're at MD Anderson Cancer Center. So thanks again for all the prayers, well wishes, love and concern. They have been felt and appreciated. We will of course update the blog often with Roger's test results, etc. ~ Holly

More Surgery Info

So, Roger's surgery is set for March 3rd which is exactly five years from his first craniotomy. He has appointments next week for a bunch of tests the surgeons will use to prepare for his surgery. But this week I'll be having surgery myself. I am having the laparoscopy on Thursday to remove the blockage from my right fallopian tube. It is an outpatient procedure which shouldn't take more than two hours. I am glad my surgery is getting done before Roger's so I can recover and be done before he has his surgery since we won't know how he will be affected by the craniotomy. Roger will be updating the blog on Thursday after my procedure. Thanks again for all the prayers. We really do have a lot of peace going into both of our surgeries. ~ Holly

Brain Surgery Date Set?

Not a whole lot to share but it looks like the surgery is scheduled for Thu, March 3, 2011. I only know this because MD Anderson has a web portal where you can see all your records and appointments and out of curiosity I thought I'd see if they posted anything yet, and they did. I have a bunch of PreOp tests, like the MRI,  the day before but I don't see the CT, so they must still be getting things together. I guess they will give me a call when everything is 100% lined up. Just a quick update for you. Will pass on more when we know it.

-Roger

The Verdict: Brain Surgery... Again

Well folks, the verdict is in… the next step is brain surgery... Again.

It was kinda funny to me that we drove 200 miles and 3 hours and only talked to my neurosurgeon, Dr. Lang, for about 15 minutes. He really didn’t sugarcoat it at all, which I appreciate. He just came out and said that it needs to come out. We asked about the trials that Dr. Conrad mentioned. The virus trial is only for patients that had a grade 3 Ependymoma that was removed and then came back. I only had a grade 2, so that one is out. The other two chemo treatments are done after removal of the tumor so we can't do those yet. He said that it is growing, and really needs to come out before it causes any damage.

There are both good and bad things:

• The bad? It’s freaking brain surgery people! There a lot of things that could go wrong.
• The worst? I could die. Just saying.
• The not so worst? I could lose movement and possibly feeling in my right leg forever, maybe my right arm and torso, and my speech center could be damaged.
• The best? I’m a little tired and weak at first but make a pretty good comeback.
• The bestest of all? I’m having my surgery at MD Anderson! It is one of the best, if not the premier cancer hospital in the world. That’s pretty awesome. (I hope my insurance doesn't disown me. Can they do that? Especially if it’s the government’s Tricare??)

First they have to look at the calendars to make sure all the staff are necessary available to perform the procedure. We’re currently looking at a time frame between Feb 22 and Mar 3. Incidentally, Mar 3 is the 5 year anniversary of my first craniotomy. Weird, huh?

Dr. Lang told us that because of the blood vessel that runs through the tumor they want to do a CT Angiogram; this will allow them to map the blood vessels in my brain so that they can see what this vessel might be feeding.

Next, they may do a portion of the surgery with me awake. They would start the surgery like normal, with me completely out, but then bring me out of anesthesia so that I could answer questions and they might also stimulate parts of my brain to see what happens to map it. I found an interesting excerpt from the Ohio State University Medical Center website in an interview with Dr. E. Antonio Chiocca, director of neurological surgery at Ohio State University Medical Center, regarding awake brain surgery:

Patients undergoing awake brain surgery are anesthetized just enough so they will doze during the incision in their skin and removal of a section of the skull. Anesthesia is then withdrawn and patients are coaxed into consciousness so they can speak during procedures on the brain itself.

“You need a very good team to do this. Neuroanesthesiologists give patients just enough medicine so they will sleep during the first phase, and then they will wake them up when we get to the brain,” Chiocca says. “We have a speech pathologist talk to the patient as we remove the tumor. If we notice any trouble speaking, or if the patient develops a halting pattern of speech, we know we’ve gone too far and we stop.”

"Though these brain centers are universal among patients, the mapping and imaging allow physicians to adapt to the “uniqueness of each brain,” Chiocca says. “And having the patient awake allows us to take care of individual differences.”

Patients who undergo awake brain surgery often are able to leave the hospital and return to normal activities within 48 to 72 hours.

Sleeping patients whose surgeries occur near these speech, memory and motion centers of the brain are at higher risk for suffering temporary or permanent deficits, but some patients will opt not to be awake, Chiocca says.

I am totally for being awake during the procedure if it helps them and gives me a better chance of coming out with less deficiencies.

MD Anderson BrainSUITE

Last, if they deem it necessary (I think it is, but that’s just me) they will perform the surgery in MD Anderson’s BrainSUITE. It is basically an operating room with an MRI machine in it so that the doctors can see what they are doing in real time. It helps them to see if they have removed the entire tumor before they end the procedure. In 2006, MD Anderson was the first hospital in the world to purchase and implement one of these systems. There are currently only six in the US. This thing is cutting edge and I hope that they decide to utilize this awesome technology.

• So how do I feel about all this? Well, I’m ready, I’ll tell you that.
• Is it scary? Yes, I’m not going to lie.
• What are my fears? I’m not afraid of death. These guys are going to take care of me and I know that’s not going to happen. But if it does, Holly and I have talked about the ‘ifs’ and there are some preparations we need to make. We’re not stupid. I mean heck, someone could trip over a cord in the OR and kaput, I’m toast. You have to think about these things!
• Am I worried about how it might affect my body? I’d be lying if I said no. But, if I survive and they get this monster out of me forever, no matter what deficiency I have, I’ll be the happiest man in the world. I’ll deal with it. I have learned how to live with limited mobility on my right side and I can do it again.

Dr. Lang said that I’d probably have to recover at MD Anderson for 3-5 days and could go home if there are no complications. If I do require therapy they have physical and occupational therapy in the hospital and could stay there for a few additional weeks if necessary. I’m looking forward to putting this all behind us and moving on. I’m tired of cancer lurking over me. I just want to give cancer the finger like my friend Eric did. No, really. He had cancer on his finger and they amputated it at MD Anderson. I’m not kidding. Well, I’m not going to give them my finger, but they can have my tumor, and just a little bit of brain tissue for clear margins. As soon as we have more info, we’ll let you know.

Thanks for reading and please continue to pray for me and Holly. We’ve got a lot going on right now, (Holly is having laparoscopy next Thursday) but somehow just being here together for each other makes it all better.

-Roger

First Trial Ends, Back to MDACC for Other Options

Holly and I made the trip back to MD Anderson in Houston last week for my every other month checkup while on the trial. For some reason I had a feeling this was different, and I was right. When we started the trial, one of the guidelines was that if the tumor grows 25% larger than it was at the start of the trial, we must stop the trial. We found out that we are now at that point, and we have to stop this trial. I have to say, I don’t know why, but I had a feeling this was going to happen. Now, stopping the trial is not necessarily a bad thing. First of all, I don’t have to take gobs of pills everyday now! Another plus? I’m regular again and don’t have to rely on stool softeners and fiber to counteract the drugs every other week! (I know, gross, but you don’t know what this means to me.) Lastly, they don’t know for sure, but even though the tumor is still growing, the drugs may have slowed its growth. So they got some data from me for the trial and that’s a good thing. I hope it is useful for someone down the line.

Where do we go from here? Last week when we visited with my Neuro-Oncologist, Dr. Conrad, we discussed the MRI. They are unclear of exactly what they are seeing. It could be tumor, necrosis (dead tissue), cystic tissue or something else. He believes that at this point the best thing to do would be to perform a biopsy of the tumor to find out exactly what they are dealing with so that it can be treated properly. After that there are several options available:

• Virus trial, where a reengineered virus is inserted directly into the tumor, the virus eats the tumor, stops at brain tissue and then dies. I wrote more about this trial back in June, check it out.
• There is one chemo treatment option that is new that I can’t remember if it is a trial or not and another that is a trial that Ii think is not quite available yet; both are IV chemos.
• Lastly, all out surgery, which we are trying to avoid.

We have an appointment to see my neurosurgeon, Dr. Lang, tomorrow (2/2/11) at MD Anderson to talk all of these over and see where we go from here. As soon as we know what’s going on, I’ll let you, our faithful readers and supporters know.

I wanted to share some stats and images with you so that you can see where how things are progressing.

First of all, I decided I'd make a table so that I could see for myself how the tumor is growing. I know it sounds weird, but I need to know these things and thought it would finally be good for me to put it on paper. I did it in Excel but can't make a table in HTML to save my life, so I took a screenshot. All the measurements are in millimeters and I took them from all the Radiologist Reports I get from each MRI. As you can see, even with the medications there has been pretty steady growth, but to the doctors, they see it as slow growth.

Next, I wanted to share two sets of MRIs. The first was taken at MD Anderson on Jun 1, 2010. The tumor is still fairly small and compact. Click each one to see a larger version.:

Brain MRI - June 1, 2010

Last, here's the latest MRI from last Monday, Jan 24, 2011. As you can see, there are some areas of black that have a white border, they think those might be cysts, but just are not sure:

Brain MRI - January 24, 2011

I just noticed that the images from last week are a bit darker, but i think you get the point. There are definitely some changes and the doctors want to know why it looks the way that it does. So, off to Houston again tomorrow. We'll let you know what the plan is soon.

Thanks again for all your prayers and support.

-Roger

Trust, Part Two

Yesterday as I drove to an appointment with my holistic chiropractor the local Christian radio station was having a discussion on people's word of the year in between songs. People were calling in and stating what their word for this year was and describing why it was their word for this year. I thought about it as I drove and said to myself, "My word for this year is definitely trust." And prayed for God to continue to help me stop worrying and trust him completely.

Dr. Klayman's office was closed on Friday because he was in Houston for a conference through Saturday. So when I arrived I asked him how his conference was, he stopped what he was doing, paused for a moment, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Profound." That was intriguing enough for me to ask, "What was your conference about?" He began to give some back story and told me the conference was about enlightenment. He said our purpose in this life was oneness with God and the conference facilitated enlightenment by taking the "I" out of the attender because we could not achieve oneness with God and be aware of him in everything with "I" in the way. He said without "I" you could take away all the distractions from seeing God in everything because we would not care about the the distractions, we would not worry. He then said, "When we worry, we are not trusting God." I thought to myself, "What? Seriously? Okay God, I hear you." I love when God surprises me and uses people to teach me. Isn't that cool?

So for those of you who know I was doing a two week program with Dr. Klayman to re-establish my sugar control mechanism, you will be happy to hear all my adjustments held (even though I cheated in the end) and I'm done with the no sugar, no carbs, no caffeine and no alcohol program. Don't worry, I told Dr. Klayman about cheating and he said my adjustments must have already been holding even though I cheated earlier than I was supposed to. So now I should be able to slowly add those foods back into my diet and they won't give me those spikes of exhaustion during the day like they used to. And I have to say, all weekend after I started cheating, I never felt tired... even with less sleep than usual since I was having a girls weekend for my sister's birthday which led to the cheating. But after three weeks (Yes, I had to start over after the 1st week) of reading labels, researching ingredients, etc, there will be a lot of things I will not add back into my life. I even switched to a sugar free toothpaste and mouth rinse. But enough of about that. If you have questions about it, email me directly.

So Monday afternoon Roger and I drove to Houston for his bi-monthly check-up at MD Anderson Cancer Center. On the three hour drive there I made a ton of calls to doctors, the online pharmacy and our insurance company to find out about the prescription prior-authorization we were waiting for. Turns out Tricare did deny it and I called them to find out why. A technician told me it was denied because it would cost them over $9K dollars and I should ask my fertility doctor if there was a cheaper alternative because there was no generic equivalent. So I called Dr. K's office to let them know this and they said he would call me back in a few minutes. They did call me back and he said he would prefer to do the laproscopy first then I could use the shots another patient donated to the office. She had a laproscopy, got pregnant right after and didn't need the shots. So he would set those aside for me. I agreed and felt a lot of peace about this for some reason even though surgery is not something I was looking forward to. Roger and I discussed it after getting off the phone with his office that Dr. K has been talking about doing the laproscopy since we had the HSG procedure and we felt like this might be a major part in conceiving. So that's where we are at now. I have to call them back on day one so they can schedule the procedure between days six through eighteen.

After my last blog post on Trust, I received so many amazing emails, notes, etc from so many people that were truly uplifting, encouraging, funny and perfect timing for how I was feeling and what I was going through. Please know when I type on this blog how much we appreciate all your thoughts, concerns and prayers, we truly mean it. Many of you who read this blog, know exactly what we're going through and how we are feeling now and I love you for taking the time to share with me and lift me up with your words, scripture and love. God uses everything we go through to help others. Thank you so, so much.

~ Holly

Trust

Wow, I can't believe I let this go this long without updating. Sorry! I needed some days to process what happened Wednesday but this is ridiculous. Again, Sorry.

So I went to Dr. K's office Wednesday fully expecting the ultrasound to show more eggs than last time since he increased the Femara, his assistant to give me the Ovidrel shot, schedule the IUI for the next day around 3:00 pm and when I left there call the cryobank to order a pick up for the next day. Well...

That did not happen. It took Dr. K a long time to find an egg. And that's all he found, one egg. He also said my uterine lining was not thick enough. He told me he did not want to waste a vial of frozen sperm on one egg and a thin uterine lining since we only have eight vials left. I understood and was fine with that. He's the expert and knows how to make babies happen so I was shocked but cool with not doing an IUI this cycle. Then he said he felt we should try shots next time of some drug I can not remember nor pronounce. That's when I got blindsided. To me, that was my worst fear: fertility drugs. I was already tiptoeing the line of fertility drugs with Femara, but shots? That I would have to administer myself?!

Then I started questioning everything and doubting and worrying and everything else you can imagine. Yes, I was disappointed we couldn't do the IUI, but the fear and worry I experienced was none like I had ever experienced before. I prayed for peace with the decision but I was too raw still and not in my right mind to accept peace. I had some good cries when I got home and talked to Roger. We decided we would never do anything again without the other present. I know I would have more peace if we came to a decision together. Alone I felt like I was playing God and that as you all know from my previous posts is the area I have trouble with. Worrying I will mess up God's plan or will, even though I know I can't.

I had some great conversations over the next couple of days plus lots of praying and reading scripture. Then on Sunday after our weekly neighborhood Bible study, I rode with two girlfriends on an errand and one of them asked me what happened on Wednesday. As I relayed the events from the day and how I had been feeling about it, they both gave me very wise counsel. And something they both said really hit it home for me. One said two things she keeps hearing me say is "fear and worry" and that I know fear and worry does not come from the Lord. The fear and worry I was experiencing was not how God would close the door. And my other friend said, "When God closes a door, he will give you peace beyond understanding." Just because one IUI didn't work and I couldn't do a second IUI doesn't mean God is closing the door. Sometimes we have to struggle. We were not promised an easy life.

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

But I know God is going through this with me and he will get me through this.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

I am feeling better now because of these conversations. But I feel a lot better knowing my issue may have been worrying about playing God, but the real issue is trusting him. I need to let go and let God. (I can't believe I just typed that?! Cheesy.) And hey, what do you know? I have fertility issues.

“This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” 2 Chronicles 20:15b

How many times have I used this exact scripture for the trial I was going through?

"Do not be anxious about anything but in everything,by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

One thing that overcomes all of this for me when I really think about it is,

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18

I am thankful to God for revealing what my true issue is so I can began to work on it with prayer and petition and studying his word. I am also thankful to God for putting some amazing people in my life. Thanks Julie and Brea.

"Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever." 2 Chronicles 20:21
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Although the online pharmacy started calling as soon as I left the doctor’s office on Wednesday, I didn’t call them back until Monday. I felt a lot better about going through with the shots and going forward with fertility treatments until God closes that door and gives me peace about it. They set everything up in their system and told me they would call me back shortly with more information. I had to call them back the next day since no one called me back on Monday. They told me they were waiting for pre-authorization from my insurance before they could send the prescription. She said it would take 3-5 business days or I could pay for it now if I didn’t want to wait and get reimbursed by my insurance. I asked her how much the prescription would be without insurance. She stated, “Seven hundred and” and I did even listen to the rest of the number after I heard seven hundred dollars. I was like, “No, I can wait for pre-authorization” and I laughed. She laughed with me too. Supposedly Tricare covers infertility therapies and treatments except IVF, so we should be good. Of course, my first thought after I got off the phone was, "I wonder if this is another way God may be telling us to move on." I'm a work in progress people. But Roger and I decided if they don’t cover the shots, we’ll discuss trying Femara again with Dr. K and see what he thinks.

Sorry this was so long. That’s what happens when you take too long to update your blog. But I would not have the knowledge I have now if I had not waited a few days to process. And now you know how to pray for me. Trust! Thanks everyone for all your prayers, well wishes and concerns. They mean a lot to us.

~Holly

Day Fourteen Times Two

Okay peeps, today is day fourteen. I know, again. So I am on my way, with my Ovidrel shot in hand, to Dr. Kavoussi's office this afternoon to have another internal ultrasound to see if my eggs are mature enough to be released and do another IUI tomorrow. I'd be lying if I didn't say I hope they are mature and we can do the IUI tomorrow and this time produces a pregnancy. I know I just started trying and I know I said I wasn't going to worry about it anymore and just go with God's flow. But I'd really like to be done with this. I know, patience and trust Holly. Obviously I need prayer and you know how to pray for me now. Thanks!

~Holly

Early Noisy Sunday with the Neighbors

Today started off a little strange. It all started last night, actually very early this morning. We were up watching TV and lost track of the time. When we noticed it was 1am we turned off the TV and then heard loud bass from music outside the house. I walked to the front of the house and it didn’t seem as loud, in our bedroom, at the rear of the house, it seemed to not be as loud either. Holly said that she could not hear it when we went to bed and then it started to rain and that drowned the sound out.

I remember waking up again to the sound of bass thumping again, but I didn’t look at the clock, I think it was about 3-4am, but again, it started to rain and I fell asleep.

In the morning Holly was the first to wake and she immediately heard the bass. She looked out through the blinds in our bedroom and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary but did see the owner of the house behind us leaning out of his back door looking left and right as if he was also looking to see where the sound was coming from. Holly said he was only wearing shorts and saw Holly looking through the blinds and went back in his house and Holly immediately stopped looking through our blinds. She then went to the front of the house and I think she opened the door and she said it sounded like the sound was coming from the next street over. I got up and decided that I was going to get ready for the day and drive around the neighborhood until I found out who was causing all this noise.

After getting dressed and such, I went out on the back deck and I could hear what sounded like bass thumping from a car subwoofer and then I could hear the bass. It sounded like it could be coming from behind our house but the echo effect made me really think it was in the front. I walked out the front door and the bass was very loud. I started walking up the driveway and was now very certain the sound was coming from the front of the house. As I reached the street it sounded like it was coming from across the street, so I kept walking toward the houses across the street. As I got to the middle of the street I suddenly became aware that the sound was coming from the garage of the house directly across the street from us.

It was shortly after 9am and their garage door was open with two cars inside and the door had been open all night because it was wet in the garage. I walked into the garage and finally found the culprit, a silver VW sedan parked in the garage. I looked in the driver window and didn’t see anybody sitting there or in the passenger seat. I decided I better walk over to the front door since it would be the most appropriate neighborly thing to do. Walking up to the front door I noticed a large cardboard box sitting on the front porch, completely soaked from the overnight rain. It struck me as odd that such a large delivery like that would be left out in the elements. Most people would never do that, right? Was something wrong? I decided to be bold and I rang the doorbell three times and rapped on the door three times with pretty good force. I heard a small dog come to the door barking, but no answer. I looked around the porch and noticed that their outside Christmas light were still up, most people in our neighborhood had already taken them down. That didn’t really mean anything, but I took note. I waited for maybe two minutes and then rang the doorbell and knocked on the door again and waited… no answer. Was foul play involved? I looked at the front door handle and was tempted to try it, but hesitated. Was there a problem inside the house??

I decided I better knock on the door inside the garage that led into the house. I thought that maybe it would be closer to a bedroom. But again there was no answer. I looked at the door handle and was again tempted to try to open the door, but again I stopped. I thought to myself, if something went on, I don’t want to leave my fingerprints around! It’s silly, I know, but I was really getting very cautious. I turned around to look out of the garage and something caught my eye in the car, this time I was looking through the windshield. I could see a figure there, with the seat in the fully reclined position.

I thought to myself, this is really strange. I came up to the window and knocked hard. Nothing. Was this person alive I quickly thought? I knocked harder yet. Nothing! I finally opened the door and the first thing I noticed was the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. Wow! It was starting to make sense. I quickly studied the person in the seat, it was a male and he had his hands tucked under his bottom… it was in the 40’s during the night. If this was our neighbor he didn’t look anything like I remember. I decided it was time to get this over with.

I tapped his leg several times and he didn’t move. I thought to myself, I hope this dude is not dead. I also thought to myself, how can this guy sleep with this loud bass thumping?!? I tapped him harder and he finally woke up slightly startled and looked at me, very confused. First thing I asked him rather loudly was, “Are you okay?” He put his head back and said “Yeah.” I then asked, “Can you turn the music down?” He lurched forward and punched the power button on the car stereo and lay back again. I was a bit amazed… no big deal to him but a big deal to me. I asked him again, “Hey man, are you okay.” Again, he just said, “Yeah.” I then felt obliged to tell him, “You know your music has been on all night?” He replied with, “Awesome.” At this point I didn’t know if he recognized me or not as we had only met a few times in the past. And to tell you the truth, he didn’t exactly look like I remembered him. I said to him, “It kept us up last night.” This time he responded with a less enthusiastic, “Awesome.” Then I can’t exactly remember what I said next. I think I told him that we lived across the street and he told me that he would keep an ‘eye on that next time.’ I then shut the car door and walked away back across the street to my own now noise free house.

I didn’t look back but did check about thirty minutes later and the garage door was now closed. I can only assume that he went out last night, got hammered, drove drunk home from a bar at about 1am and was so wasted he decided to just sit it out in the car for a while. And this punk was driving drunk through our neighborhood. Down my street. In front of my house.

My thoughts… Where the heck was his wife? Maybe he tried to go in and she kicked him out? For some reason I don’t think he ever went in. Another thing, both cars were in the garage, but when I knocked nobody answered the door. Maybe she was out of town? I guess I’ll never know. I kind of want to go over this week and ask about it again to get things straight, but I kind of don’t want to. What do you think?

All I know is that the next time this happens (if it does) I’m calling 911 and letting the police find a drunk man, passed out, blasting music, disturbing the peace, on a Sunday morning, in his car in his garage. At least, I hope it was his garage.

"Baby Don't Worry"

I am so thankful for Christian community. After some conversations with and wise counsel from my friends Gina and Anthony and sister-in-law Cathy this weekend, plus a great message on Romans 12:1-8 at church today by our pastor Brandon, I have come to a great revelation. I do not have to know exactly how to do God's will.

I don't have to worry about the details. His will shall prevail whether I am on board or not, mess it up along the way, do it a little out of order or worry my little pea-picking heart out the whole time (though worrying is not God's will). I have been having this tug of war with whether to do more IUI's, have the laparoscopy or not, not try at all and go straight to adoption because I have been worried about doing God's will correctly.

And I know this. I have been following the Holy Spirit's leading, being used by God letting him open and close doors directing my path to all kinds of adventures and having a great time since I found him over ten years ago. God has given us a passion to love the children he gives us. I'm sure he knows what he's doing and how to do it. Here I am worried about messing it up. Like I can mess up God's will. Geez Holly. This is much bigger than me.

As it says in two of my favorite places, Paul in scripture and Bob Marley's song, I don't have to worry about any thing because every little thing is going to be alright.

~Holly

Negative

Well, I started my cycle this morning and took a pregnancy test this afternoon in the event Dr. K asked me if I took one I could tell him I did. And it was negative. I had a feeling Tuesday night I would start today but of course I was hoping I would not. But, it is what it is and yes, I am disappointed. I called Dr. K's office to let them know. He mentioned trying one more time and I needed to let him know as soon as possible since he had me start Femara on Day 5 which would be Monday. He's out of town and will see the note first thing Monday morning with enough time to call in a prescription of Femara and I can start it that night. I am starting to change my mind a little about the laparoscopy if we don't get pregnant this next try. My first concern is doing something outside of God's will and wasting our time getting to God's will, but I also feel like I have only tried one time and if I don't try again or have the surgery I won't be giving it my all. I'd be quitting too easy, like I haven't really tried. I worry too much sometimes. We will continue to pray about it and we'll let you know here on the blog what happens next. Thank you to everyone for your prayers, thoughts and concern for us. We really appreciate it.

~Holly

Fifteen Days

Well, on Day 15 the IUI was performed. I picked up this huge box from the cryobank which contained the canister and carried it to Dr. K's office. Roger came about ten minutes after they told me they were starting the thawing process. It didn't take long and we were moved into an exam room. I got ready and on the table. I was a little nervous and Roger could see that in my face. He told me we could run out of there if we wanted but I just laughed as I took more deep breaths out. Dr. K came in with a nurse to assist him and we started the process. It was pretty much painless except for one sharp pain similar to the pain I felt from the HSG procedure which told me he was in my uterus. It was over before we knew it then he elevated my bottom half and told me to lay there for about ten minutes. He wrote some notes in my file then Roger started with the barrage of questions. I couldn't think of any questions just yet but Roger covered it all. And Dr. K again was more than happy to answer Roger's questions. He even pulled out a binder with diagrams and was showing us the procedure compared to natural conception. It was very educational. This is also when we asked him about what to do next. He told us to test at home in fifteen days. If we tested earlier it would most likely indicate positive because the HCG shot I was given the day before to release the egg remains in the system and could give a false positive on home pregnancy tests which tests for HCG. When Dr. K was done and left the room, Roger prayed over me and for us. His nurse came in a few minutes later to tell us I could get dressed and leave. It was a little strange of an experience but it should be since we were trying to conceive in a doctor's exam room and not in the privacy of our home. Plus it wasn't as fun as trying to conceive in the privacy of your own home. :) So we are waiting fifteen days to test which will be Saturday, January 1st. What a way to start the new year!

The very next day, Roger had his first seizure in 3.5 years. When he started the clinical trial at MD Anderson he had to switch one of his anti-seizure medications because it increases liver enzymes. And increased liver enzymes affect chemotherapy so they would have to increase his chemo on the trial and they don't want to have to do that. So they switched it to a different anti-seizure med and have been keeping track of it in his system with his bi-weekly blood tests. But the levels in his blood have always been under where they would like to see them but he had not had a reason yet to increase the meds so they left them where they were. But good ole Dr. Conrad Roger's oncologist also prescribed him Ativan to keep on his person at all times in the event he started to have a seizure. So as soon as we figured out it was a seizure and not a toe cramp, he grabbed his Ativan pill on the night stand and put it under his tongue as he laid down on the bed while the seizure was working it's way up his right side. It lasted one minute longer and made it up to his lower back then stopped completely. That was pretty freaky. So it was only a partial seizure thank goodness. He felt loopy the rest of the day and sat a lot as his right leg was exhausted from the seizure. He left messages with his team at MD Anderson and on Monday they increased his Depakote and felt like that was really all he needed. They will continue to monitor the levels in his blood. But this answers one question we have had for a while. Roger will probably have to be on anti-seizure medications forever.

Since the IUI I have been asked the same questions from people, "Do you feel pregnant? Do you feel different? Have you tested yet? When can you test?" At first I did not feel any different. Plus I didn't know what being pregnant felt like so I couldn't answer that one. But as I got asked over and over again I started to think more about, "Do I feel different?" That's when I started noticing small things. Then I remembered the counsel of a very wise girlfriend who gave me some great advice this summer when we had a few months to try naturally. She told me to be aware of my mind playing tricks on me and even making me think I am feeling or imagining pregnancy symptoms, that way I am not super disappointed when I am not pregnant. I completely understood her advice then because I have experienced my brain making me think I am feeling things when I am not or I am imagining things that are not. My lower back has been hurting. But I started working on my core again a couple weeks before so that could be from all the crunches and push ups I had been doing. It could also be lower back pain from starting my cycle soon. I have been really tired lately. But that could be from us staying up too late and just being lazy during the Christmas break. We drove up to Roger's family's Christmas celebration and as soon as I got in the truck I started to feel sleepy even though I had only been awake for a couple hours. But I start to get sleepy every time I get in a vehicle for short and long drives for ever... Nothing new here. I have had some small weird feelings on one side of my pelvis. I don't know how to explain those but again, my mind could be playing tricks on me.

If my home pregnancy test is positive, I make an appointment for a blood test at Dr. K's office. If their blood test is positive they will test again in a few days to watch the numbers to make sure it is not an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy since there is a slight kink in my right fallopian tube. Once we get past this, I will then return to my ob/mid-wife practice. If my home pregnancy test is negative or I start my cycle, I also make an appointment to return to Dr. K's office to discuss the next step. So we'll test this Saturday and of course, you'll know here on the blog. And now you know how to pray for us. Thanks everyone and hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!

~ Holly

Day Fourteen

Okay peeps, I'm going to get down and dirty with this. Had a long day and want to get to bed asap. Today was day fourteen. I took the Femara last week and had no side effects. Yeah! This past week I started to feel a little bit of lower back pain. Last night lower abdominal pain on the right side started. I had the ultrasound this afternoon. After an hour wait, I finally went back. Dr. K reviewed my HSG procedure films real quick with me and told me he wanted to try 3-4 IUI's and if I didn't get pregnant then we should do a laparoscopy of the right fallopian tube since it wasn't as open as the left to see if there was any scarring. I thought, maybe.

I really wish they would have told me it was going to be an internal ultrasound. Not that it hurt, but that's not what I had envisioned. Anywho, Dr. K started but didn't like the position of my uterus. He said it was tilted. I have been told this once before by an Army nurse practitioner but I didn't give her much credit because she gave awful annual exams. Then he proceeded to move it. Didn't know that could be done. Must have worked because he continued with the ultrasound then I saw my eggs. Of course I had no idea that's what they were. So I started asking questions. If you know me well, you know I ask a lot of questions. Dr. K was cool about it. I think he enjoyed it.

So it basically looked like a sonogram (see picture to the left for an idea. no this is not mine. roger wasn't with me and if he was, he would have posted a pic on facebook!) with one big round black spot that was split in three. I asked him if that was an egg and he said, "Actually that's three." I almost freaked out. I thought to myself, "WTH?! Three!" Then he proceeded to explain to me how he measured them to figure out how mature they were. He said only two of them were mature. That was just the right side. He announced he was going to the left side. He said there were two eggs in the left ovary. Again, I thought, "OMG!" But they were really small and not anywhere near mature. Whew!

He asked me if I brought my shot with me to which I answered yes. He told me his nurse would give me the shot and I was to come back Friday at 3:00 pm with my frozen sample for the IUI. I asked him how many frozen samples I should bring with me. He said one but then asked me how many we had total. I replied nine. Then he told me we should do 2 IUI's and if I didn't get pregnant we should do the laproscopy because he didn't want to use up too many samples. It didn't dawn on me until I talked to Roger on my way home that Dr. K doesn't want to use up a lot of samples because he plans to try IVF if the IUI's don't work. But we forgot to tell him we don't want to do IVF at all. And after having the HSG procedure, I sure as heck am not looking forward to my fallopian tube being scraped out. No thank you. So Roger and I will tell him tomorrow at our appointment. If the IUI's don't work we decided we would pray about it but we don't want to do the laparoscopy or IVF.

So the nurse gave me the shot and I am so glad she did it and not Roger. He was way too eager to stick me anyway. It was not pleasant. Then I had to call the cryobank to make arrangements to pick up a sample tomorrow. As I drove away from Dr. K's office I prayed a little bit because I started to feel a little nervous maybe scared. "What the heck am I doing?" crossed my mind once. I thought to myself, "Holly, fear does not come from the Lord." and just prayed for God to give me peace and if this was His will for us to take the fear away and give me peace. Can you tell I needed peace? I must have said it forty times in my prayer. I did have to start over a few times because traffic was distracting me. I know if I would have talked to a girlfriend I probably would have started crying. And I almost called one but decided crying on the phone driving on I-35 was probably not a smart idea.

So there you have it. Rough recap. I pick up the frozen sample tomorrow at noon. Then meet Roger at Dr. K's office for the IUI at 3:00 pm. So please pray for us, for me, for the IUI, for peace and I'm going to try to not be selfish and say only one egg to be released and ask for you to pray for God's will to be done on that. But no praying specifically for multiples! Although there are two people we know who seem to think since there are some twins on Roger's mom's side of the family we have a higher chance for multiples, that's not how it works people. Roger's only contribution was sperm. The eggs are my doing. There are no twins on my mom's side of the family but since I took an ovulation stimulant that would be the only reason we would have a higher chance of multiples. Okay, enough. Thank you and good night. ~ Holly

Day One

So yesterday was Day One for me (Holly). Which means my cycle started (finally) and I had to call Dr. K's office to let them know. They called me back in the afternoon with all the instructions then had to call me back later to answer all my questions. Here's a recap:

Day - What to Do (Date)
1 - Start Cycle (Dec 3)
5-9 - Start Femara (2 pills a day every evening) (Dec 7-11)
12 - Be home between 8a-3p to sign for Ovidrel (Dec 14)
14 - Ultrasound (bring Ovidrel in case) (Dec 16)

The questions I had for them were what is Femara and Ovidrel and how would we know when the actual IUI will be performed as I need to schedule with the cryobank for pick-up plus I was going to help a friend on Dec 17th as she recovered from surgery the previous day.

Since my cycle is anywhere from 26 to 30 days now, the doctor suggested using a drug like Clomid to help ovulation become more precise since we have to do IUI to conceive and you really need to know when you are ovulating to be able to time the IUI. Well, Femara is basically the same as Clomid except better. From everything we read online, it doesn't have as many side effects as Clomid and it doesn't stay in the system as long as Clomid so it doesn't hinder conception. The next drug they mentioned was Ovidrel. The nurse had to call me back on that one but thank goodness again for the internet because by the time she called me back I had all my questions answered. In order to be able to time ovulation accurately to be able to know when to do the IUI procedure, they use Femara but the egg has to be released precisely also. That's where Ovidrel comes in. It's a shot that helps release the mature egg from the ovary.

So here's how it goes down. At the ultrasound, Dr. K will check to see if the egg is mature and ready to be released. If it is mature and ready that day, he will give me the shot there at the office. The IUI could be performed as early as the next day. If the egg is not mature and ready at the ultrasound, Dr. K will tell me when to inject the shot myself at home and then the IUI will be performed. Yes, this means I will have to give myself a shot or Roger has volunteered to give it to me. The online pharmacy that is mailing the Ovidrel shot to us has videos to learn how to inject the shot. We watched it and it seems easy. Then we got nosey and watched a few other videos for other fertility medications and almost scared ourselves.

I didn't know I had signed up for all of this, but it's what we have to do to get pregnant while Roger is on the clinical trial. Fun, fun! ~ Holly

Step Two Down, On To Step Three

Well, the HSG procedure is complete. It was not pleasant at all. I was actually shocked at how much it hurt. But as soon as it was over the pain ended. They let Roger stay in the whole time. Dr. K said it's the first time in ten years he has let a husband stay in because he usually doesn't like them to see how much pain their wife is in. But Roger told him I have always been there for all his stuff and he wanted to be here with me. Dr. K told us during the procedure that everything looked good to him. The left fallopian tube was completely open and the right was not as open as the left but it should not hinder conception. So we're on to the next step which is the first day of my next cycle I have to call their office to inform them and they will set up a flow chart then make an appointment for me to come in and get the Clomid instructions and get ready to do the IUI. We will also be working with the cryobank to transport the frozen samples to Dr. K's office on the days of the IUI procedure. All this could happen as early as the end of next week but of course we won't know until it happens as my cycle is still not predictable. But of course we'll update the blog when we know something more definite.

Roger's blood work last week showed his white blood count went back up so he can continue on the clinical trial. We know him working 70+ hours a week for 19 days straight was not good for him. He is working towards getting more rest, eating healthier and taking better care of himself and we'll post about that in a few weeks. But the extreme overtime ended and he was able to get rest and is back to normal. We go to MD Anderson in Houston on Monday and Tuesday next week for his next MRI, echo-cardiogram and labs. We are excited about this next MRI as the last one two months ago showed no new growth. We are eager to hear what this one shows.

So please pray for what both of us are going through all at the same time. We hope and pray for everyone to have an amazing Thanksgiving. Of course, I'm hoping Texas A&M beats the hell out of the University of Texas. But Roger is hoping for the opposite. A house divided, only for four or so hours on Thanksgiving day during the football game. ~ Holly

Step Two

Step one for us getting pregnant while Roger is on the clinical trial drugs happened last Thursday. It was giving blood for a whole mess of tests. See the blog post Here We Go for more details on the blood tests. I even forgot one of the tests, Vitamin D, in that long list of blood tests. But I will be getting the results of the blood work tomorrow before my appointment.

The next step is an HSG procedure which will take place tomorrow, Thursday, November 11th, at 1:30 pm. Roger is going to go with me which I appreciate. I have been doing some research on the HSG procedure by reading websites and forums and watching YouTube videos. Most of these people make it sound super awful and painful, but again, I think there are some over exaggerators and drama queens out there. Just like with the mammogram, people kept telling me how much it hurt and how painful it was and it wasn't painful at all to me. I don't have any issues with annual exams either. So I'm hoping for the same with the HSG procedure.

I will admit I am very interested in the results for both the blood work and the HSG. I have been seeing a holistic chiropractor for a couple months working initially on allergies which I don't have right now and now getting off my ulcerative colitis medications. He has found a few other symptoms that show possible adrenal and thyroid issues. So we're working on that naturally and it will be interesting to see what those blood tests show. I am also interested in the HSG because the x-rays will be seen right there during the procedure and I will be able to see my own uterus and fallopian tubes and if there are any abnormalities. Yes, I know, I'm strange. But I have never been pregnant so I don't know what state all those are in for me. I am getting closer and closer to 40 years old so no telling what's going on in there.

So that's the latest with conception. I'll try to get Roger to post a blog about his current brain cancer clinical trial happenings. Although not much has changed since our last update. If you could pray for what we are going through tomorrow we would really appreciate it. And you know we'll let you know how it goes here on the blog. Thanks-Holly.

Serving Orphans

This past Sunday, November 7th was Orphan Sunday. It's an initiative to bring awareness to orphans, foster care, adoption and raise up people and organizations to stand in the gap for orphans and the families and organizations that support them. Our church, Austin New Church (ANC), has many families adopting this year and just recently supported two organizations that help orphans.

On October 23rd, a team of friends and family from our church called Restore the Orphan ran in the Chosen: Marathon for Adoption. I (Holly) personally ran the half marathon. It was very hard, but a lot of fun. I don't think I'll be running a half marathon again. You can see pictures of me running here and you can do a search for the last name of anyone you know who was running and see their pictures also. And you can see the elevation of the run from my RunKeeper activity but it didn't capture all of the run as I lost GPS signal at 10.19 miles. We had several fund-raising events leading up to the marathon for our own ABBA fund at church for the families adopting. Proceeds from the event will go directly to families adopting in our area and from our church.

October 31st was the fifth Sunday of the month so ANC always does church on those days in our community and city by serving at several different projects called Serve Austin Sunday. This month we held four garage sales all over Austin to raise money for Help End Local Poverty (HELP). Roger and I worked a huge garage sale of four Restore Communities (community groups) from our church and it was a great success. Long and exhausting but so worth it because we sold $3,572 worth of excess stuff we all had in our homes. All four garage sales together donated almost $11,000 to HELP. And with this donation they were able to complete the funding for their orphanage in Port-au-Prince, Haiti and complete the funding to dig a water well at their orphanage in Marondera, Zimbabwe. HELP sent a delegation to Haiti this past week and you can follow them on their visit at their blog.

Our next big event, Restore the Innocent, ANC & Restore Austin are partnering with HELP, Music for the City and Austin Angels to bring awareness to the injustice of sex-trafficking. It will be held on December 7th at 6:30 pm at the Blanton Museum of Art. We will be showing the film Call & Response then heading to an after party hosted by Music for the City to discuss the next steps for fighting this crisis. 100% of all proceeds will go to fighting human trafficking. So, join us in raising awareness and engaging the fight!

Here We Go...

I got the referral two days after the last call I made to Tricare. That was a pleasant surprise. I called to make the appointment and they directed me to their website to download a questionnaire. It was six pages of medical history with a menstrual and reproductive emphasis. Thank goodness for the FMC iPhone app. Yes, there's an app for everything. It really comes in handy when I get asked all those questions. I don't have to calculate anything. Just enter the data and the app does it. You can save all kinds of data when it comes to the female reproductive system.

Roger and I went to meet the fertility doctor on Friday. It was just a new patient consultation which took about 30-45 minutes. Dr. K.M. Kavoussi was really nice. He definitely knows his stuff, but he does this every day. He reviewed my forms before he saw us and got straight to business. He asked a few specific questions then let us know how he starts the process. On the first day of my next cycle I have to call the office to schedule an HSG for 5-6 days later. He did say I would need to take four ibuprofen one hour before the procedure because it would cause cramping. Something to look forward to. Then on the second day I have to go get blood drawn for a bunch of lab tests. He wants to check my metabolic panel, lipid panel, CBC, estradiol, FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) levels. The HSG and the lab results will tell him if I will need any assistance getting pregnant. If those are normal, then we can go through with just an IUI.

But since my cycle is currently 24-28 days in length, ovulation can not accurately be predicted so he suggests using Clomid which is an ovulation stimulant. That used to scare the heck out of me because 1) I don't like to take any drugs unless medically necessary especially fertility drugs because 2) I am not keen on the idea of having multiples. Although if we tried naturally and multiples occurred I would be okay with it because it was obviously meant to be but I wouldn't want to try for multiples. Again, if that happened I'd have to be okay with it, but one baby is scary enough for me I can't imagine multiples. If you read the link to Clomid above, in the clinical trial the rates of multiples were 7.98%: 6.9% twin, 0.5% triplet, 0.3% quadruplet, and 0.1% quintuplet. I know quite a few women who have used Clomid and conceived on the first or second attempt most of those being natural conception. Clomid is a pill taken once a day for five days so ovulation can be precisely timed in order to perform the IUI.

Dr. Kavoussi suggested only trying IUI 3-4 times, which is all we think we would want to do anyway, before going to IVF since we have nine vials frozen at the cryobank. Of course right now we don't think we want to go through with IVF. But we'll address that if we need to. Since we were so unaware of the process ourselves, we thought we would share it here so others can learn. Not a lot of people share their fertility issues so I had no idea what the process entailed. We live our lives like an open book so others may be helped by our experiences. So the next update on this will be after the first week of November. And all prayers are greatly appreciated. We are excited to go on this adventure. Here we go...

Referral Take Two

Well, I spoke with Tricare today and turns out there are several in-network fertility specialists in Austin including the doctor I requested the first time. The person I spoke with said she is not sure why the last person I spoke with told me otherwise. I am not surprised by this at all. It comes with the territory. I would not expect any less from Tricare actually. At least she was really nice and we had a few good laughs together about it. So another referral will be sent to me in a week. We'll see who I get this time. I wonder if it will be for the doctor I requested or someone different. I'll let you know here. ~ Holly